Four members of Les Chœurs et Solistes de Lyon have been kidnapped. Probably mugged on the way to the airport: Perrine Madœf, Landy Andriamboavonjy, Pierre-Antoine Chaumien, and Fabrice Alibert. See them on the program? Don’t go to the concert, a gang of Eurovision rejects has stolen their identities; they will take your money and use the time to brutalize you. Take what you were going to spend on tickets and donate it to the Canadian Association of the Deaf.
It doesn’t get nicer