Perfectly harmless if treated appropriately

A description of the parts

1. Hermetically constructed box containing, in separate enclosures and not limited to:
1. Congolese “Nuclear” Termites
2. Jumping Spiders (hungry)
3. High-pressure canisters of moist alkaline gas a.k.a. “acid gas”
4. An infected rat
2. The exterior of the box is covered in capacitive sensors; a circuit board is built-in with a 10-year power source and a gyroscope.

Care and handling

The box is perfectly harmless as long as it is happy. Keep the box happy and you won’t have any trouble. The box likes being rocked (to sleep), sung to, and stroked; it also likes other things you will discover.

The box gets bored; so don’t try to please it the same way for too long. If the box gets too bored, or if the box hasn’t had any attention in a while, it will stop being harmless.

The box only communicates its contentment and the appropriateness of your relationship by remaining harmless. If it ceases being harmless, you must have done something wrong.